I get and understand your Betrayal Trauma. I am a CSAT-C and have been trained to helping you heal from your trauma of betrayal.
Betrayal trauma is a specific type of trauma that arises from the violation of trust in a close relationship. It's not simply about experiencing a betrayal; it's about the profound impact that betrayal has on the victim's sense of safety, security, and self. Unlike other traumas that are often characterized by physical harm or threat, betrayal trauma stems from the actions of someone the victim deeply trusted. This makes it particularly damaging because it shatters the foundational belief that those closest to us will protect and care for us.
Key characteristics of betrayal trauma include:
Violation of trust This is the core element. The betrayal involves a significant breach of trust by someone the victim relied on for emotional support, physical safety, or both. This can manifest in various forms, including infidelity, abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), abandonment, deception, or manipulation.
Disruption of attachment: Betrayal trauma significantly damages the victim's attachment style. The secure attachment they may have had is disrupted, leading to confusion, insecurity, and difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future.
Cognitive dissonance: The victim experiences conflicting emotions and beliefs. They struggle to reconcile their positive feelings towards the betrayer with the painful reality of the betrayal. This cognitive dissonance can be incredibly distressing and confusing.
Self-blame and shame: Victims often engage in self-blame, questioning their own judgment, worthiness, and contribution to the betrayal. This can lead to profound feelings of shame and self-doubt.
Impact on sense of self: The betrayal can fundamentally alter the victim's sense of self and their worldview. They may question their own perceptions, reality, and ability to trust others.
Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) features: Betrayal trauma often overlaps significantly with C-PTSD, exhibiting symptoms like difficulty regulating emotions, hypervigilance, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, avoidance of reminders of the betrayal, difficulty maintaining relationships, and dissociation.
Difficulty in processing: The trauma is often difficult to process because the perpetrator is often someone the victim loves or relied upon. This can complicate healing as it involves grappling with conflicting feelings and the loss of a significant relationship.
It's crucial to understand that betrayal trauma is not simply "getting over it." It requires specialized therapeutic intervention, often involving modalities like trauma-informed therapy and the CSAT (certified sex addiction therapy) process that help individuals process the trauma, rebuild trust, and reclaim their sense of self. Ignoring or minimizing the effects of betrayal trauma can lead to long-term psychological and relational difficulties.
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